Yesterday we rode from Arapahoe to Benkelman. Wake-up call came too early given my comfortable bed at Karme and Anthony Fisher's; for the first time, I didn't wake up ready for the day. After saying goodbye to our generous hosts and eating a wonderful breakfast at the Methodist Church, we circled to dedicate our day. As I listened to each rider speak in honor or in memory of someone they had met who had been touched by cancer, I was rather suddenly struck by this trip and what we're experiencing along the road. As I've done the trip once before (in 2006), and being as we are half-way through this trip, it seemed strange that I'm only now coming to truly feel all aspects of what we're doing.
Spreading awareness about cancer, one tier of the 4K's mission, is something I understand on an academic level and believe in absolutely. I have always believed in the power of education, and given the number of cancer cases that are preventable, I hope our trip inspires people to be more mindful of their bodies and environments so as to reduce all controllable risk factors (e.g. tobacco use and obesity). This element of the trip was one of the first things which attracted me 2 years ago. Likewise, raising funds is an important part of what we do, and I think our contributions make a difference to the organizations to which we donate. Yesterday I began to have a deeper understanding for the more emotional aspect of the trip: fostering hope.
It started as a vague feeling while we were circled with members of the Arapahoe community. I was overwhelmed by an accumulation of stories and lives that had been shared with us. I thought about people I had met 2 years ago who were still struggling, as well as those who had since passed away. About 20mi outside of Benkelman we stopped for a wonderful lunch with Johnny and Nell Walker. Johnny hosted the 4K in 2006, as well, when his first wife, Rosemary, was struggling with an aggressive cancer. Again this year, Johnny invited us into his home and shared his life with us. Rosemary passed away in August, 2007; Johnny talked about his family, their struggle, her last days, and how he continues living and loving. He talked about being touched by a rider on the 2006 team who was himself a cancer survivor. The honesty and emotion of his story brought together all the emotions I had been feeling the last couple days, and I cried listening to him speak about his experiences. I was shaken by the love, pain, and hope in his message.
Arriving in Benkelman felt like coming home after having been away for a long time. It was one of my favorite stops in 2006, and I had been looking forward to seeing Chris and Carolyn, our hosts, this entire ride. Here is a small town that epitomizes what we experience across the country: limitless generosity. Chris and Carolyn invite us into their home every year, let us eat in their diner, and take time from their lives to provide for us during our day off. What's more, together with Crystal, Johnny and Rosemary's daughter, and others from the Benkelman community, they threw us a fantastic benefit picnic in the town park. There were festival games (like a dunk tank and bingo), a silent auction, food and drink, karaoke, and a dance. All proceeds went to the 4K, which this year totaled just over $2,000! Not even the early end to the evening caused by a violent thunder and hail storm could hamper our total enjoyment of the day.
Biking to Benkelman and throughout the day off, I thought about the 4K - our goals, our challenges, and ideas for improvement. It's easy for me to get discouraged; I always feel I could be doing more. When I get upset about all the little details, I hope I can remember the advice of a dear friend: “You're a human being, not a human doing.” This is about who we are, not what we do. At the beginning and end of long days, it's not about what we've done on the road, it's about who we've been, who we are, and how we interact with those around us. I believe we have a positive and lasting impact on the communities through which we pass, and days like those into Benkelman remind me of how important it is to keep reaching out to these places.
As we move from community to community, we encounter all types of people and personalities. Something that remains constant, however, is the generosity and openness of those we meet. Whether we're passing someone on our route, eating dinner with our hosts, or being taken into someone's home for the night, people treat us as though we're dear friends, not perfect strangers. They tell us stories of hardship, confide in us the experiences they've suffered, and share their hope for a better future. At the end of the day, they remind me of why I'm doing this again: this isn't about biking, it's about the people (riders and hosts) - their stories, their pain, their love, their hope. I'm told we inspire others with hope for the future and the next generation. Honestly, the people we meet inspire me with hope for the future. They show me that it's possible to love, to struggle, to hope, to hurt, and to continue in spite of everything.
-Clare Blubaugh
2 comments:
Hi, Clare,
Thank you for your beautiful posting from Benkelman. It vividly captures the incredible impact the 4K experience has on both riders and those touched by them. And, on a personal level, you should be so proud of the caring leadership you provide every single day. Your dedication to the riders and the 4K mission just shines through. Thank you from The Kasten Family
Thank you, beautiful Clare, for being. And for your wonderfully insightful, hopeful, thoughtful writing. I hope you are reading these comments and remembering what a gift you are to all of us in this world. I'm sending love, always! xoxoxoxox
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